“He must have a foot like a traction engine.” Alan Partridge talks us through a selection of World Cup goals in his own unique style. “Eat my goal.”
Sven-Göran Eriksson promotes Uncle Svenny’s Kids Play for England Club, where lucky participants can enjoy a trip to Germany and play Pin the Metatarsal on the Rooney and climb on Peter Crouch.
Sky Sports News presenter Ian Payne throws Paul Merson off his stride as he announces that Oldham Athletic’s ‘Craaaaaaaaaaig Davies’ has netted against Luton Town. Reeeeeewind!
The “arch-thinking, free-scheming midfield cogniscento” Jimmy Buzzard is left utterly flummoxed by this interviewer’s creative style of questioning.
A mightily irked worker mocks the use of the term ‘we’ his bandwagon-jumping Liverpool supporting colleague constantly uses. “Do you remember when ‘we’ were chasing the Nazis…?”
Soccer AM favourites Rocket and Tubes promote their never-to-be-released DVD featuring the best foul throws, borderline offside decisions and goal-kicks that went straight out for a throw. “Throw-ins are sick!”
Football pundit extraordinaire, Ron Manager enlightens us on the root causes of hooliganism in the modern game.
Father Ted puts the over 75s team through their paces with a crucial match on the horizon and isn’t overly impressed with the levels of attitude and work-rate on display. Pass and move!