Ask A Silly Question

...and get satisfyingly stupid answers

Alan Ball

Alan Ball

"I'm in bed. Wi' nowt on"

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John Barnes

"A petting zoo? What’s that? A Stan Collymore dogging thing?"
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Marcus Hahnemann

"We loaded and loaded the M16s. Our fingers were bleeding"
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Moritz Volz

"I had some dodgy prawns from this tapas restaurant. I seriously thought I was going to die. It was all going on, at both ends..."
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Barry Fry

"I went in a wheelchair. I had a dressing gown on, a bandage round my head...but I’d leap up and start dancing."
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Garth Crooks

"I was stuck in the back of a car for two hours with Edwina Curry... it was like being stuck with your mother-in-law."
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Bryan Robson

"I thought the alarm clock was an oncoming car. I punched it to bits"
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Sir Geoff Hurst

"Someone will say: 'It’s you isn’t it? Martin Peters!' That’s quite odd, I’m much more handsome..."
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Peter Crouch

"I dreamed about being a dwarf"
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Jim Rosenthal

"Mrs Rosenthal would never do that. She’s a lovely woman"
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Matt Le Tissier

"I signed some bloke’s forehead once. He couldn’t see it of course, so I just wrote what I wanted."
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John Aldridge

"I couldn’t hit a granny, could I?..."
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Adrian Chiles

"I wouldn’t resort to murder to further my career"
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Luis Garcia

"What is a Scottish egg?"
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Peter Reid

"Where I was brought up, there wasn’t really much of a Morris dancing scene"
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